yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
