I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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