I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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