More tranny stories later!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
