she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
even my farts smell like vagina
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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