Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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