She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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