Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
