you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
