Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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