I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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