They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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