Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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