from now on my penis is your penis
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
