So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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