Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
