yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
