I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
