I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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