thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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