no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
