i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
