great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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