can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Less talking, more tequila
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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