can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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