I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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