Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
