I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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