you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Randomize
