Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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