How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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