Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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