Buhtt sex?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
