im six kinds of drunk right now
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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