He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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