Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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