The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize