Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
