Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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