She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
