kristin has been a bad kristin
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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