Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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