he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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