STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize