Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
