Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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