xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
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