i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
they're like a gay fantastic four
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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