Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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