Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
