1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
