just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
