Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
