On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
