i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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