Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I've blown a few things in my day
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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