every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
