Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
