I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize