ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just had sex bonerless
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
