Dude my mom stole all your condoms
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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